Three Grandmothers watch the Kim Kardashian sex video. Best 90 seconds you’ll spend today.
i hope to be these women in the future
holy fuck im dying
literally my future self
(via averyneatmonster)
| Zooey Deschanel: | Is that rain? |
|---|---|
| Siri: | What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to- |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Let's get tomato soup delivered! |
| Siri: | ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes. |
| Siri: | Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just- |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Remind me to clean up. |
| Siri: | Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible- |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Tomorrow. |
| Siri: | I'm in hell. This is hell. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Excellent. Today, we're dancing. |
| Siri: | I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll." |
| Siri: | I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | *dances* |
| Siri: | Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet. |
(Source: finnicksbutt, via stinson)
(Source: desperateandredeemed, via actinoutloud)
(Source: elementnumber46, via book-fetish)
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
wugs:
Ultimate 80s Mashup
This mashup is exceptionally good dancing-in-your-underwear music.
jesus fuck yes thank you
(Source: teddymosby, via alyhannigan)
reblogging for all of America being Texas.
It’s too much.
Canada as seen by Canadians
Canada as seen by the rest of the world
I’M DYING
I need this on my blog again.
LMAO
CANADA
Poor Canada
omg sparta
(Source: fuckyeahalbuquerque, via jackquaidismyking)
(Source: theycallherlovely, via book-fetish)
(via raisingamorphinetoast)
